Overview of Domestic Violence

Every nine seconds, a woman is assaulted or beaten (Domestic Violence: Statistics and Facts 1). Domestic violence is “a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner,” (Domestic Violence 1). One in four women will experience domestic violence during their lifetime (Domestic Violence: Statistics and Facts 1). These victims can be from any race, sex, age, religion, education, employment, and marital status (Who are the Victims 1).  Abuse occurs in all fifty states, but Nevada is number one and is closely followed by South Carolina and Tennessee (Phillips 1). Since abusers are master manipulators, they blend in with their  surroundings. Most abuse happens behind closed doors so that outsiders would never suspect it, resulting in the abuser almost never getting caught. Their partners convince them that they are not “proper mothers” and cannot do anything without them (Weiss 6). Women are terrified of what will happen to them and their family if they do take the huge step of leaving their partner. Domestic violence is happening all around the United States, and it is time to take a stand.

There is no typical case of domestic violence. Domestic violence often happens because of lack of respect for the victim, low self-esteem, possessiveness, and the abuser's short temper. Typically,“the goal of abusers’ behaviour is to exert control over their partners. They believe it is their right to rule every detail and movement of their partner,” (Chayn 1). In order to feel more masculine, a man must maintain control over his spouse. Once the man gains this control, he believes that he is able to govern every aspect of his spouses’ life. Many times, the man becomes overprotective and tries to prevent his spouse from doing anything out of his control. When the abuser's spouse goes against his wishes, it often leads him to lose his temper. The abuser may make threats and abuse his spouse because he needs to feel like he is in control. These characteristics combine to make the abuser commit horrendous acts of violence. Many domestic violence victims do not speak out against or leave their abuser because they are afraid of his retaliation.

Oftentimes, an abuser follows simple, discrete steps in order to gain trust and love from their partner. First, the abuser will appear as loving and gentle and allow the woman to feel that she is the dominant one in the relationship. He may even speak of the hard times he experienced as a child. The abuser worships the woman and appears to love everything she does. After the abuser has lulled the woman into a false sense of security, he makes his move. He wants to isolate the woman so that no one will hear her scream or see her bruises (Steiner 1). The man may make it seem as if they are escaping or moving to a more romantic place (Steiner 1). Then, the abuse begins. It is easy for someone who is not involved in the relationship to say that the victim is at fault. This, however, is horribly untrue. Most domestic violence victims do not think of themselves as victims or battered wives; they think of themselves as strong people who are trying to help the men they love (Steiner 1). The woman sees her partner as troubled and views herself as the only one who can help her partner overcome the demons that haunt him (Steiner 1). She believes that the beatings she receives are a result of the man's traumatizing childhood, not because the abuser is evil or violent. The victim also believes that her partner truly loves her but just needs help because of his past.

 

"Domestic Violence." Office On Violence Against Women. The United States Department Of Justice, Mar. 2013. Web. 14 Dec. 2013. http://www.ovw.usdoj.gov/domviolence.htm.

 

"Domestic Violence: Statistics and Facts." Safe Horizons. Safe Horizons, 2013. Web. 24 Dec. 2013. http://www.safehorizon.org/index/what-we-do-2/domestic-violence--abuse-53/domestic-violence-the-facts-195.html.

 

Phillips, Nicole. "South Carolina Rated Second-worst in Nation in Women Killed by Men." The State. The State, 20 Sept. 2012. Web. 24 Dec. 2013. http://www.thestate.com/2012/09/20/2448208/south-carolina-rated-second-worst.html.

 

Weiss, Ed.D, Elaine. Surviving Domestic Violence: Voices of Women Who Broke Free. Sandy, Utah: Agreka Books, 2004. Print.

 

"Who Are the Victims." Domestic Violence. Creative Communications Group, 2009. Web. 21 Dec. 2013. <http://www.domesticviolence.org/who-are-the-victims/>.

"Why Does Domestic Violence happen?." Chayn. N.p., n.d. Web. 21 Dec. 2013. http://chayn.org/whydvhappens/.